Saturday, December 31, 2005

A FEW THOUGHTS ON TAG TEAM WRESTLING....

1. If I ever got my hands on the smaller/weaker of the two wrestlers, I would NOT throw him into the adjacent ropes.
tagteam

2. I would always be weary of anyone who chose to wear multi-color sequined business suits...they would not be my manager and I definitely would not let them talk me into wrestling the reigning WWF WORLD CHAMPION who happened to be managed by my extremely hot ex wife who I recently divorced for poisoning my tag team partner but then forgot to remember that I also had found many ill placed sequins all over my ex, until right before the match which means I may be walking into a trap but am feeling really drowsy.....probably because of the strange tasting POWER BAR that my manager provided.

3. Before every match I would have the following conversation with the REF:

ME- LOOK! I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but at some time in the match, probably just after I perform my pattented EXTREME SCISSOR DRIVE EXTREME, I am going to pin my contender and you will be counting... then all of a sudden my contender's partner is going to yell something like "HEY REF THERE IS A FIRE OVER HERE" or maybe "MY GOD THAT MAN IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK...IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE ARENA....NO, THERE'S NOT, ALRIGHT IS THERE AT LEAST A REF" and you will be tempted to look away.

REF- Go on!

ME- If you look away then the contender will cheat in some fashion while your back is turned and while you are scorning my partner for yelling a profanity at your stupidity I will be pinned and you will be none the wiser.

REF- You think?

ME- I can almost assure you that scenario will play out tonight in some fashion.

4. I would stay clear of all folding chairs and tables. In my contract it would state 'NO UNUSED FOLDING CHAIRS AND/OR TABLES ARE TO BE ALLOWED CONVENIENTLY STACKED AT THE RINGSIDE FOR ANYONE TO GRAB AT THEIR LEISURE'

5. If I was really tired and only 6 inches from touching my partner's hand to TAG him in...I would easily find the strength to span the gap.

6. I would question the rules regarding when you are allowed to have two people in the ring performing a painful and somwhat unnecessary pile drive.

7. I would find outfits that did not make me and my partner look like gay acrobats.

4 Comments:

Blogger linz said...

I used to watch the WWF just for the number 2s. It's amazing how wrestling is also a form of a soap opera.

11:49 AM  
Blogger wewilleatyou said...

its all about the ULTIMATE WARRIOR!

11:57 AM  
Blogger Bradford said...

Also, when my opponents make a tag after one has recieved a serious beatdown, perhaps I shouldn't rush into the ring, but wait for my fresh opponent's adrenaline to level out.

5:28 PM  
Blogger kerri said...

F tag team wrestling! F it! give us something new.

2:59 PM  

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