Quickhit Call Out

My quick hit today is how I am against blogging quickhits. I think it is cheap and blasphemous to us in the blogging industry. People who only have time to write a few sentences about music they are listening to and what burrito they are eating should just EMAIL. Yeah I said it!!!!

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Bands with Shticks ROCK

I love bands with shticks. Bands that have the balls to go on stage dressed as sailors, dentists, or aquatic avengers and still rock out always get my vote...whatever that even means . Here are a few bands websites worth checking out.
THE AQUABATS Don't be fooled SKA is, will be, and always has been bad but these guy really commit to their shtick. They even have enemies that attack the show during their sets...check it out.
HOLY MOLAR dress up like evil dentists. You all will probably hate their music unless you like THE LOCUST.
VAN STONE This band opened for my all time favorite band a few months ago at the HOB. They actually are a complete SHTICK...everything about their show is an act and it is hillarious. They have a manager dressed in a bad suit talking on three cell phones on one side of the stage and a stage hand breaking bricks on the other. At one point they declared their undying love for underground music and two songs later their manager got them sponsored by SUBWAY and the lead singer listed off the ingredients to the new meatball sub as a SUBWAY banner fell from the ceiling. GENIUS.
TURBONEGRO this band is no joke. They know how to rock, but they dress up like sailors, bad prom dates, and EUROBOYS. Their shtick is that they are the opposite of homophobic. I highly recomend any of their albums...but then again I am in their fan club. TJ HOLLYWOOD... DARKNESS FOREVER.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Forklift of Deceit

I had to move this weekend and visited my local UHAUL to rent a cargo van. If you have ever been to a UHAUL it is one of the top five most uncomfortable and crowded places on earth just under a refugee camp and before any theatre playing HERBIE FULLY LOADED. While standing in line I saw a display that featured the FOREARM FORKLIFT. It is suppose to allow two people to pretty much carry anything using leverage and their forearms. Honestly look at those pictures...the guys carrying the big screen, the two women man-handling the wardrobe, and finally two mid-sized men moving a piano with a smile on their faces. Either these are great actors with hemoraging hernias or this thing really works. I would not pay the $35 US dollars to check it out so if anyone out there has seen this in action please let me know.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Boyle and Jeunet

These two are well on there way to be my favorite directors of 2005. Although there movies both came out last year, they did not get an American release until relatively recently. There names are DANNY BOYLE (on the left) and JEAN-PIERRE JEUNET.
were easily the most imaginative and poignant films of the year so far. A friend asked me to make a list of films that people should see, since I watch a movie a day, and I haven't gotten around to it yet, but if you find yourself on this blog do yourself a favor and rent A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT (which is also titled 'Un long dimanche de fian├žailles') and Jeunet's huge international hit AMELIE. ENGAGEMENT is set in WORLD WAR 1 like you have never seen.
MILLIONS is not out yet but keep an eye out. It is about a young boy who finds a million dollars ,which falls from the sky, and has to spend it before the UK switches over to the EURO. Instead he wants to give it to the poor. On top of that he is infatuated with SAINTS and is visited by them in his imagination. It's great when ST. PETER shows up and explains to him how Jesus really fed the 5,000.
Also rent TRAINSPOTTING and 28 DAYS LATER, both by BOYLE. I know most will pass on 28 Days because its a zombie movie but its really good and is more of a thriller than just a zombie movie. It is a zombie movie for people who don't like zombie movies.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Metrosexual Mind Control

I know you have been eye-ing it.
"I will be able to multi-task," you say to yourself, "I will have an extra hand free to do even more." You think it will make your life easier, your commute smoother, your grocery shopping swifter... You think you will look high tech savy People will ask you where you got it and how it could be so small and wireless. You think its a smart purchase... you will look like a genius and people will think you are 'chic'. Well if you thought any of those things about the Motorola Blue Tooth Hands Free Headset... then you would be dead wrong.
If you purchase this device then you are saying one of two things about yourself.
1. I am a self-indulgent, pretty boy, metrosexual that is so lazy that not only do I not have time to listen to my messages while at home because I am too busy flat-ironing my hair, but I also want the cashier at my favorite smoothie hut to be confused whether or not I am ordering the "Banana Berry Blitz" with "Testosterone Boost" or yelling at my trainer about his second thoughts on giving up carbs.
2. I welcome DOOMSDAY, ARMAGEDON, and the APOCALYPSE. In fact please, Government's of the world, insert a cancer causing mind probe in my ear so you can hear every word I say and have the capabilities to import any thought, belief, or ideology into my fragile brain so the ANTI-CHRIST can take over the world in the most effortless of ways.
PLEASE stop purchasing every wireless device at CIRCUIT CITY. Some of them are completely useless and are bad for your health, pscyhe, and self image. KEEP SEACREST OUT!!! and big brother for that matter.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Colorado's Revenge

This is what happens to selfish DVD hoarders!!!!

Friday, June 03, 2005

Why is CARTER crying?

I apologize everyone...
I am partly responsible for all the annoying wimpering coming from the far corner of MOL blog world. You see I made this short film

and I sent it to my FRIENDS in Dallas to watch and instead of sharing the DVD a one CARTER is crying for his own copy. I will not go into the costs of making a DVD... all I can say is sorry and I will spank my baby as soon as I get him out of the supermarket. Until then we should all pray for his soul.

Its A Good Day for METAL

Just ask this guy
He'll tell you the new AVENGED SEVENFOLD album is out June 7...(City of Evil).
If you like really good 80's metal like old Metallica and Iron Maiden than this cd is for you. If you are scared of metal than go back to listening to the GARDEN STATE soundtrack or whatever it is that you hippies listen to these days.