Sunday, May 29, 2005

Revenge of the Shit

Star Wars
After letting all the hype settle in Hollywood, I have had time to realize the STAR WARS EPISODE 3 was fucking awful. Hayden Christiansen's performance as the forthcoming DARTH VADER could be compared to Tom Hank's breakout role in the early 80's anti D and D movie MAZES AND MONSTERS.
mazes
Lucas could have saved about 8 Million by casting my micro wave as the new leader of the dark side instead of Christiansen. Also what is with all the green screen. My biggest complaint about scenes that take place on green screens is when you see the actors in the wideshots standing in the scene their feet do not seem to be standing in the environment. On top of that there are never any shadows. I guess in galaxies far, far away light does not cause shadows....what is this fucking NEVERLAND. I wish I had spent my money on NATIONAL TREASURE like a good British bloke I know and not spent one of my vacation days amongst lightsabre toting, brass bra wearing STAR WARS NERDS.

3 Comments:

Blogger kerri said...

where's my link?? ...bastard

8:22 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

As a good British bloke I completely concur with this reviewers critique of the recently released mess of a movie. When Darth Vader menacingly asked Palpatine "Where's Padme?" I almost vomited.

11:04 PM  
Blogger Jess said...

I am so glad someone else disliked it. My Star Wars loving boyfriend almost broke up with me over my poor review.

2:11 PM  

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